Tuesday was my birthday and I happily turned another year older. I may feel differently in the future but for now getting older doesn't bother me. However, I sometimes find myself wondering "when did I grow up?" There was a period of time that I felt like I was a teenager playing the life of an adult even though I was married, graduated from college and had a job. Even when I first had kids I felt like I was playing family. At some point that all changed, I'm just not sure when. Was it when I had more than one child? When we purchased a house? When I agreed to be PTA president? Most likely it was a gradual shift to real adulthood that I didn't even notice it. Either way here I am, an adult. I like to believe it has been a good 32 years. I don't dwell too much on "what have I accomplished?" thoughts. I have 3 boys who are healthy and happy (mostly) and the fact that I have kept all 3 of them alive, fed, washed, clothed and entertained is a feat. Besides at some point they will take on more responsibility for said feeding, washing, clothing and entertaining and then we'll talk. For now I like to think of all the ways that teenager Kati would be impressed with adult Kati. Like the fact that I met and married an amazing man. So much better than any guy in high school or college that I dated and mourned over. The fact that adult Kati is a runner would surprise both teenager Kati and any PE teacher in my past. It took a long time to make the mental switch from "I run" to "I am a runner". It has been 10 years since my first half marathon and I still love it and choose to do it nearly every day. And maybe the most shocking revelation of all for teenager Kati is that taste buds can mature as well. Who knew salmon, shrimp, Thai food and asparagus really are delicious. However, there are limits to taste bud maturity and some foods like broccoli will never be good. Lest you think I've reached perfection on my way to adulthood let me set the record straight. Just this week it occurred to me that I have still not figured out the daily scripture study thing. I am no better than I was 10 years ago and at times I'm probably worse. Ugh, here's to getting a handle on it THIS year and not letting another 10 years go by. Here's to liking who I was, who I am and all the possibilities of what future Kati can be.
Happy Birthday my sweet cousin, I have looked up to you all my life...as a kid I thought you were amazing, as a teenager I felt blesed to call you friend and my adult self hopes to be the kind of good mother you are. I say you have a whole lot to be proud of over 32 years! hope you had a wonderful day!love ya
ReplyDeleteYou are SUCH an amazing writer Kati! So often I read your posts, and want to copy and paste your words because they express my thoughts/feelings perfectly!!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post. I feel sad that I only know teenage Kati and college Kati...I do not know the 32 year old Runner Kati or the Kati that loves shrimp and salmon! Wow!! We have grown up together and reading this made me realize how much I've changed too. I think having the third baby made me realize how much of an adult I am too. I kept thinking, wow I have 3 kids. Can this be for real? I feel like I am a 21 year old trapped inside a 32 year old body! However, I too am grateful to be a 32 year old that doesn't have to mourn over the loss of an old boy friend, that I married the right man, and that my dreams of marriage and family are coming true. Hurray to us for achieving our goals Kati! Teenage April and College April would have been proud of you, as is 32 year old April! Happy Birthday Kati...can't wait to see what 42 year old Kati brings!:)
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